At Burning Man...
Her: "I'm going to hop a fish and meet you at the grope-a-clown at noon. Piss clear."
Me: "Okay, we're going to find the faun who fixed my tire and go to costco for some soulmates."
At work...
"I'll work your foreskin if you work my 2 to 6."

The 'Strap ons for Tops' seminar the other night reminded me of a fine image I had tidily forgotten.
I had an uber fit girlfriend years ago who played every sport imaginable. Her side of our walk-in closet was literally 2/3 full of sporting equipment. 
When she bought herself her first (Red Jaguar) strap-on I asked if she would make its red carpet debut wearing at least one piece of every sport outfit all at once. A goalie-masked, knee-padded, skate -wearing, erection-wielding monstress emerged with a mission to destroy my sensibilities. Defying gravity, she flicked me over her shoulder and we did what 1.8% of the audience of any skating event wished they were watching.

If you like Dan Savage's 'It Gets Better' project for LGTB at (suicidal) risk:

www.youtube.com/watch

"It might not."

"What is chemistry?", I asked my best friend. She who seems to have it with every man we'd meet, or at least one every time we went out. I thought she would know for sure as I only have it with someone every 2 years or so if I'm lucky.
Her response was "Fuck if I know." That's probably the correct answer.
My answer would be that they smell good. Their sweat is mana from heaven. That's the only common thing amongst the people I've had the hots for.

I went to see the premiere of the play 'Confessions of The Other Woman' last night and 2 things: I was completely wrong about what I thought it was about. It wasn't about the business of being a mistress. Sex and money! I was kind of disappointed in that. OH. It's about being a peripheral in the centre of your own lust and need for connection. Here we go. It's also about how women are 'scarlett lettered' when they hump husbands. I've been there myself, but managed to run away before my lust could convince me to act on its drunken, need-of-rehab behalf.

A common problem here now has a twist.
One partner, the one standing in the store, is lamenting the low libido of the other. Very sad moment in my day, I must say I don't like it at all. Rarely do I meet the One Without Hunger but much if not all of the  conversation centers around this unseen tepid creature, trying to corral him or her into the proverbial sack a whole lot more.

I like the ridick people shopping for Valentine's bring out. There seem to be preternaturally exuberant choices, unlike any other sex shop day of the year: candy bras! Nipple balm! Sex Coupons!
Most of this kind of stuff is sold to women stocking up for a batchelorette party, but Valentine's brings out the partay in all.

I had an exquisitely sensual dream about 10 years ago where I was in an empty room with random people. We had each been given a gift in plain foot square cardboard boxes.
I just sat feeling mine as slowly as my fingers could move until I was alone. The people had all ripped open their boxes with varying speed, and left the room. The gift inside each of theirs was an Elvis bobble head playing guitar.
Anyways, I woke up as if from a wet dream. All dewy and scrumptious feeling. My box was unopened. It was neat to close my eyes and feel a cardboard box in awake world. Cheap thrills and who'd have thought cardboard can be sexy. 

This video is hot! It's new-to-us work from a female director from Sweden, who lives in Spain. We rent and sell it. Check it out: www.artofloving.ca/dvds/erotica-dvds/life-love-lust-dvd

I think Erika Lust's other porno, '5 Hot Stories for Her' will also pass the Aimee test: They don't talk much. I feel chemistry and like looking at the people. The sets are stylish, and the lighting is sexy.

I watched it over my friend's shoulder while we made flatbread pizza the other night, and in case we missed anything; pressed replay twice for our dessert. I want more! More savvy delights from lascivious directors, please.

Last night my inbox had a graphic invitation to some more playtime with an ex. Fun way to start the new year? While the chemistry was fantastic, we had parted ways only when I realized his uniqueness, his often brilliance was actually him deteriorating mentally.

Who wants a quizzie!? This one has 4 questions which I think is a nice feature. The quicky.
My mom repeatedly drilled into my head that generosity, NOT quick wit, or a perfect 'ahem' fit should be the deciding factor ultimately in dating someone. Oh, ya and white hot chemistry is alright in the mix.
Generosity as I've discovered speaks volumes at whether the he or she has the capacity for life I (and her) feel deserving of. Damn straight. Best advice ever if there is one only on relationships. Generosity has been the difference in truly happy unions and so-so ones according to yet another study of marriage.

The 3 people I've fallen deep for have all had this one little trait in common. Brown hair? A penis? Freedom 55 shoes? No! Integrity. Not to say that Bitchface Tits McGee or Asshole Junior doesn't tweek the occasional masochist in me, but push to shove...the spoonful of sugar is the only thing that truly goes down. Accountability: The sexiest accessory this fall! Try yours today!

I've been watching a documentary series titled 'Strange Sex'. From a guy who's designed a family business around a foreskin stretcher and a woman with two vaginas, none of what the show features is strange to me anymore. At one time, it would have been for sure. Now I find it intriguing and normal at the same time.
With a wider spectrum to see through than before, most sex tips books don't represent the 'strange' so much,... okay not at all. Sex is Fun is a new book we carry that is written like a series of comics. I think you're supposed to colour it in yourself. Anyways, it goes beyond Norm wanting a blowjob and Sheila wants a bath together. It's group sex and gay friendly.

Well, I'm not and even if I was; I would like to choose when and what's revealed. Do you use your computer or mobile device to get off? To satiate some (embarrassing) curiousity? Purchase sex toys or sex furniture? Procure a mistress? Explore your closet? 

Pierre Trudeau said, "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the people."

Privacy and democracy's 'your rights stop at my nose' are being threatened with an initiative the Harper government has going. It will erode internet security in general and the ISP (address of your computer) will provide a log of each and everything you do online for the government to view without warrant. Care? Sign the petition: openmedia.ca/StopSpying

A few days ago, a slightly frantic looking man in a nice suit came into the shop.

He circled the shop a few times, in what I now recognize as a fake tour of the store; stalling to ask what he's really up to in here. So, when he was done pretending he was someone he wasn't he came up and asked me if I can hook him up with a Dominatrix.

Pimping, not my specialty I said but check out the back of the Georgia Straight or Oh! The internet!
I assured him that within blocks of here, there are several. They come in here but we don't have their calling cards to give out (yet).