The Contraption That Could

A friendly suggestion to all of you searching for an alternative contraception that you can forget about. Myself and the handful of women I know who have the Marina I.U.D. all rave about it.
It was just gathering dust in its frighteningly huge box until I started sleeping with a clinically insane man.
I had the motivation I needed to get the 99% birth control installed out of my fear of spawning the next Hitler. It's lovely! No pills, no mood swings, no decreased libido. It's massive box is all show, as it's only around 3 cm long.
The cramp on the install was about 5 minutes for me and not too bad, and I have a really low pain tolerance. When I go to get tidied at the spa, they always try and talk me out of major - more money for them - wax jobs. I have to argue with them that I am heavily sedated and will promise not to kick. Then I lie down with my wallet in my mouth and hope for the best. Anyways, the Marina Intrauterine Device is best confronted with a handful of liquid Nyquils. They absorb quicker than pastilles.
Use condoms, of course if you aren't fluid bonded with your mad, madly skilled lover.