I try not to make broad statements about what “normal” sexuality is. If everyone was into what I am, Canada’s flag would actually be rainbow, soy milk would only come in strawberry flavour, and Firefly would never have been cancelled. That being said, if you tell me you’ve never had a crush on a cartoon character, I will assume you’re lying.
This came up the other day, when someone implied that one of my favorite animated characters was a lesbian and I instinctively retorted, “I wish!” Suddenly we were listing off the sexiest cartoon characters we knew: Jessica Rabbit, Aladdin, someone even said Gaston from The Beauty and the Beast. Okay, so my crushes on these characters have never been sexual (in fact, I’m still traumatized by the Simpsons porn I happened upon when I was 12) but I was surprised by how long my list was by the time we were finished.
So, for your viewing pleasure, I thought I’d share my cartoon dreamboats:
Sailor Mars: Bad bitch who's always in a schoolgirl outfit? Okay!
Mouse from Reboot: Okay, I’ve already lost everyone who wasn’t watching cartoons in the 90s. But trust me on this: purple chicks are hot, too.
Misty from Pokemon: I think everyone in Pokemon was supposed to be, like, 12. So let's just pretend that’s not true.
Eric from The Little Mermaid: Maybe it’s just because I loved this movie so much. In hindsight, the woman he’s pretty much ready to marry hasn’t said a damn word since they met and he doesn’t really notice.
Storm from X-Men: If you’re not getting this: ladies who kick ass. They’re sexy.
I think that’s all I can get out before falling back into nostalgia mode. Who are your cartoon crushes (I know you have some!)?