So! Last week I was talking about cock rings which are all about keeping blood where it ought to be. In an erection! But how about getting one in the first place? Really unfortunately, porn has popularized the idea that men should be able to get rock hard, twelve-inch, purple, pulsating erections that last for hours without waning. This just isn’t true for most people, and can lead to anxieties that actually wind up exacerbating the problem. In truth, fears about being unable to get or keep an erection are in and of themselves total boner killers. What’s a Dick to do?

Penis pumps, people. I want to talk about penis pumps.

Cock pumps have become a bit of a gag in popular media, I think maybe because visually speaking it’s slightly less explicit for the feckless roommate to pick up and wave around than, say, a two-foot double-ended dildo. But like most humour, jokes about penis pumps really stem from fear (our old friend performance anxiety rearing its head again), and penis pumps can be a super useful tool for when your tool isn’t being super useful (or even when it is! Heck, who doesn’t love a little suction action?)

Penis pumps are designed to pull blood into a non-erect penis by creating a vacuum with suction. This creates space in the penis’s blood vessels, which blood then flows into (nature abhors a vacuum!) Once this is achieved, a cock ring can then be used to trap and keep that blood until you’re done with it. They will often come with a ring with two finger loops on the side, which sits around the base of the pump while pumping, and then slides off easily onto the user.

Traditional penis pumps use an air chamber and hand pump to create that vacuum, but there are other options as well. The Bathmate, for example, uses a water filled chamber to create even suction. There are also automatic powered pumps, with exact button controlled pressure. There are also pumps with vibrators attached, and the combination of suction and vibration can be quite pleasurable.

Some people also report prolonged or even permanent change in penis size with regular pumping, through tissue stretching, mainly seeing an increase in length and the appearance while flaccid.

One thing to watch out for with penis pumps is using too much suction, which can lead from superficial bruising, to more problematic vessel rupture and even permanent nerve damage. As with anything, it’s super important to listen to your body and understand your device before using it. Immediately stop doing anything that doesn’t feel good.

That’s all for now, folks. Happy pumping!