Pump up the Pussy

Yesterday I had the pleasure of waking up to a txt from a close friend of mine. She wanted to know how long a woman could safely use a pussy pump for. Two thoughts crossed my mind when I read her txt. First, I realized how much I love my job. I love that I get txts about things like pussy pumps and dildos. It makes life way more interesting. The second thing I thought was 'What an excellent question!' You see the thing is I don't get asked about pussy pumps all that often, which really is a shame because when used correctly they are a lot of fun. Now I'm not an expert, but if I had to venture a guess as to why pussy pumps are not high on most people's sex toy radars I would say it's because their kind of intimidating. Their purpose isn't as straight forward as say, a dildo. Not to mention the fact that if you do an image search for "Pussy Pump" the results may do little to win you over. So in the spirit of helping people to have the best sex possible I give to you a beginner's guide to Pussy Pumps. You're Welcome.

What is a Pussy Pump and what is it used for?

This seems like the most logical place to start, and the fortunately the answers to these questions are quite simple. This...

is not an oxygen mask, it's a pussy pump. Tah Dah! Mystery solved. Now what does it do? Basically the point of a pussy pump is to increase blood flow to your clitoris and labia in order to increase sensitivity and to give you a sexy "pumped" look. If you're not sure what "pumped" looks like, may I suggest google images, though keep in mind if you've never seen a pumped pussy suddenly seeing 50 of them can be a bit of a sexy shock. At any rate the point is that using a pump will give you an altogether different sexual experience then you would have without a pump.

So moving on, now that you know what it is and does, how do you use it?

Pussy Pumps are really easy to use, but the thing you have to keep in mind is that if you want to avoid disappointment you need to use them correctly. While assembly and design will vary from pump to pump, every pump will have a chamber that fits over your vulva or clitoris and a ball that you will squeeze.

1. Make sure your pump is assembled correctly. That may seem like a no brainer but seriously if you don't put it together properly you'll just end up frustrated. And then you'll be cursing my name, and saying that all my promises of pussy pump pleasure were just a bunch of sexy sexy lies. So don't make me look bad, follow the assembly instructions.

2. Line the rim of the pump with lube. This will help to create an air tight seal and will ensure you get the best results.

3. Make sure the air release valve is closed so that no air can escape while you're pumping.

4. Using one hand press the chamber firmly over the area that your pump is designed for -clitoris, or entire vulva- and using the other hand squeeze the bulb until you feel suction.

5. Check to make sure that the chamber is sealed against your skin. The chamber should not fall away  when you remove your hand but should stay firmly in place. If it doesn't stay put after the first try don't worry! All is not lost. Just keep pressing firmly and pumping and the seal will happen.

6. Keep squeezing the bulb. At this point you'll be able to see your labia swelling inside the chamber. It shouldn't be painful. Keep pumping until you either achieve the desired "plumpness" or your skin is pressed up against the inside of the chamber. This can take anywhere from 15 to 45 min. And that's totally fine. In fact you want to take this slow, one pump too many and you'll go from pleasure town to pain city.

7. Open the air release valve to let out some pressure then gently remove the pump. Now admire all your or your partner's hard work and take that nicely engorged and delightfully sensitive pussy for a spin.

Tips:

Here are just a couple of tips to make your pussy pump experience go a little more smoothly.

1. If you are having difficulty achieving a tight seal it can help to remove any hair from the area where the chamber edges will rest, usually the bikini line.

2. Make sure the pump you buy fits you. We all know that pussys are like snowflakes, no two are the same. A pump that is designed to cover your vulva should sit no lower than your perineum (just below your vaginal opening). A chamber that is too big will be cause discomfort by sucking at your sensitive anal tissue, and a cup that is too small will not let you get as pumped as you want.

3. Pussy pumps can dry out your vajayjay so be sure to use lube while you take your pumped pussy for a ride.

Happy Pumping!

photo credit, doc johnson.

Source: the gritty woman 2013