Show and Tell

I got into trouble with the new roomie a few months ago for making embarrassing to her noises. She had to wear ear plugs to sleep.
I got it. As most kids probably do, I absolutely HATED hearing my mother make odd, embarrassing sounds at night. I would storm into the bathroom to bang the toilet seat up and down, up and down. Up SLAM down SLAM until she shut up. She claims to never having heard my cacaphony. I only knew she wasn't dying and that the jerky lump movement didn't include me and it made me feel sick. Like my roommate, I couldn't sleep.

I still have a note I wrote when I ran away one night to get far away from the awful noise. It reads: 'I have run away cuz you are getting mean. I do not want to grow up to be a sex person like you. You are ok thou. So if you want me please phone (closest friend's number)' My friend's family was asleep, so I just went back home and my mom never knew of our near demise.

That was before I got the noise myself.
Just as burps and farts are healthy expressions of a good meal, or a really bad one - so too was my orgasmic haiku, "Oooh, that's it. Oh. My. God...that's goodgood. AAH! Hummph." It was roomie's second night. Sheesh. She took the issue to work and asked the other hairstylists if this was a Canadian thing.