A Strange Trip Through Dildo History

After working in a sex shop for awhile, you kind of wonder, "how did this all come to be?" Considering it is still somewhat "controversial" to own a sex shop, or anything to do with sex publicly, how would it be even remotely possible for sex toys to exist 3000 years ago?

Well, they did, and they look like they would hurt. Especially since lube didn't exist. These images could have also been things that weren't dildos. But, if it wasn't sharp like a knife would be, what would be the use of a long rock with a dick like shape? Who knows!

This is approximately 30,000 years old and was found in Germany.

This is from around 4,000 to 6,000 BCE carved out of an antler bone.

A Roman double dildo, people were rather creative back then.

When I personally look at these, I cringe. I would NEVER, quote NEVER, put that up my vagina, but back then they never had silky smooth silicone vibrators with 12 different settings with 7 speeds.

Ancient Romans and Greeks are actually more sex positive than we are right now as a society. They worshipped a variation of Dionysus, god of wine and fertility. Also called Bacchus or Liber, worship of the sex god included parades through the streets, where giant phalluses were raised up like protest signs. You would never see that in this day. Actually, there was in incident in Portland where dildos were being hung throughout the city on power lines, which you can see here. Love it.

It obviously wasn't to worship a sex god, sadly.

Men used to give their wives stone dildos when they went off to war, so they wouldn't gain "hysteria" while they were away. They believed that what caused it was a lack of sperm. WELL, I don't see how the dildos would've helped, as they contain no sperm. Men.

Wouldn't it be nice if sex was accepted as much as it was back then?