On Time

Sex and old people. Wrinkles, sweat and maybe a soft clink of a set of dentures hitting the bottom of a glass of water.

Don't think of it much? Me neither, except for when I do!

I've now heard two rousing testimonies of how sizzling hot old people sex is and will be.

A roommate I had in her early 20's was bragging about her sex life to her grandmother. Her grandma's response?

"____, you haven't had sex until you're in your eighties."

After teaching a private class a woman came up to me and hugged me from behind. She whispered in my ear: "My best sex by far was from age 60 to 68." "How old are you now?" "68." 

This, I hope isn't surprising; just a slap in the face of how we conventionally view twilight sex. For me, I first witnessed (post-) coitus when I walked in on my grandmother and her boyfriend...

They had just finished doing something and the air was really musky and warm. I didn't know what was going on, but knew enough to have a good look and just leave. Gleaming skin, smiling and still.

Now if only she hadn't rapped on the window when she caught me fiddling with my sheets. ...Hmmph.

And a moral! Use it or lose it: Ladies, the vagina can literally atrophy and close up if not used. Gentlemen, there are way less prostate problems in the gay population. Funny how most doctors don't tell us this, huh?! Also, it's been proven la fuck can add over 5 years to our lifespan: more quality is needed for women, more quantity for men is the fine print requirement.