The Uptight Test

I have some pretty basic criteria for potential partner material. You have to be a feminist, you can’t vote conservative, you gotta like The Clash. I once dropped a guy on the first date because told me we shouldn’t have a government but he wouldn’t admit he was an anarchist. Another guy for wearing one of those ironically mass-produced Che Guevara t-shirts. You know, regular things.

I mention this because a woman came by today with a great idea. She told me that she dumped a guy after their first date because he was afraid to come into the store.

That’s it! The perfect litmus test to filter the uptight pleasure-phobes out of your dating pool! Bring them into the store and check for sighs and tsk-tsk’s or uncontrollable blushing/giggling. Or just hold a vibrator in their face and see if they squirm.

You’re welcome, pleasure people.