Spanking - have fun and play safe

In humans, the buttocks are rich in nerve endings, which overlap with those of the genitals. It's easy for stimulus in one area to cross over and cause arousal - Spanking is a perfect example of this.

Introducing the Idea
To introduce the idea of spanking to your partner, pick a time when you're alone together and there's nothing pressing. Remember that while you've been thinking about this for some time, your partner probably hasn't.

Give them time to get used to the idea. In particular, men spanking women touches on taboos against men striking women that don't apply to women spanking men. Definitely avoid the “If you love me, you'll do this...” game or otherwise forcing the issue. Be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not like the idea and that no amount of persuasion will make a difference.

The next step is negotiating your scene. Talk things out thoroughly, with your psychological and physical limits in mind. Establish a safeword, especially if struggling and protesting is part of the scene. Spanking can touch on issues of childhood abuse or general discomfort with the idea of physical punishment or sexual contact with non-adults. If this is an issue for one or both partners, you can make a rule that there will be no sexual contact when the bottom is in role, or set the scene so that the person spanked is an adult.

The bottom can be laid out in the classic over the knee (OTK) position or laid out face down on a chair or bed. If the differences in body size and strength allow it, holding the bottom so that the bottom is not in contact with the floor creates the feeling of being held entirely by the top's body. Build up the amount of sensation slowly, remembering that everybody's responses are different.

Bare hands
Holding the spanking hand rigid can be tiring and painful for the top. Keep your hand relaxed when hitting. Mix up strikes with caresses and pinches.

Household item that can be used for spanking include hairbrushes, ping pong paddles, wooden or metal rulers, leather belts, slippers and wooden spoons. More specialized items include canes, crops, paddles (wide and rigid) or slappers (narrower and semi-flexible) in wood, leather, or rubber. The sensation can differ greatly depending on the material you are using. Experiment! Certain implements can set off psychological associations. If your bottom loves the bare hand or the hairbrush, but freaks at the sight of a doubled belt, just don't use the belt.

Spanking often, though not always, involves dominant-submissive roleplay, such as teacher-student or parent-child scenarios. The latter can be softened by playing the role of an uncle or aunt rather than a father or mother. Same-gender spanking scenarios can also occur in school or military settings. Depending on how much work and money you want to invest, costumes and props can add a lot to the setting.

Spanking is usually based on a punishment model, which involves forgiveness or penance for some wrongdoing. At the end, the top emphasizes that the bottom is no longer guilty of whatever crime predicated the punishment and the authority figure forgives him or her. Auntie kisses and hugs her nephew, the brothers accept the new pledge into the house.

Impact play should only be done on regions of the body where there is lots of flesh between the skin and bone. In spanking, this usually means the buttocks and the thighs. The top should carefully avoid hitting the kidneys, the tailbone or where the hip bones are close to the surface.

If your scene involves pretend-punishment, ageplay or incest roleplay, be prepared for the possibility of somebody being upset by this, even if they were okay going in.

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