Sweet Nothings

It can be surprisingly difficult to say a simple thing like how you feel about your partner. Fortunately, there's many forms of communication other than face to face speech.

Living in the information age, there are many ways for lovers to communicate: email, voice mail, text messages. If you're anxious about personal communication where other people might see it, work out a system of innocuous code words with your partner. “Buy milk and eggs” can mean “Let's meet for a quick make-out session at lunch.”

For the old-school types, there's ways of sneaking little notes into people's clothes and bags for them to find later that day. These are best left in sealed envelopes to avoid prying eyes.

In the home, there are dozens of places to hide a love note: on an egg in the refrigerator, in soap on a bathroom mirror to be revealed by the steam from the shower, tucked into the book he or she is reading. Books like 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance or 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex are full of ideas for showing how you feel about your partner.

Another thing you can do is creating an erotic journal to be shared between the two of you. Buy a blank book or notebook. You write in it, starting on one side, then your partner flips it over and writes on the opposite side. Fill it with your sexy thoughts and fantasies about your partner: the memory or fantasy that brought a smile to your face in a dull moment, your favorite things about your partner, what you'd like to do with them some day. You can read it together, or separately.

Some sources claim that the majority of human communication is non-verbal. Think about how often you hug, kiss or hold hands with your partner. Do you give little pats on the arm, shoulder or leg? Even brief, innocuous touching can have a significant impact on relationships. One study showed that waitresses who briefly touched their customers had better tips than those who didn't. You can use things like Kama Sutra Honey Dust or the Bed of Roses as a way to be physically intimate with your partner without it necessarily being a sexual occasion.

Remember, the other side of communication is to being receptive and taking the time to pay attention to your partner. Even if you're not in the mood or you're too busy, try to appreciate the effort your partner is making to connect with you. Accept it and try to contribute to the interaction as best you can.

Have an idea for a sex tip? E-mail info@theartofloving.ca

Looking for a way to reconnect with your partner and create more opportunities for passion? Try the Kissing Class $59/couple