Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
- Posted on
- By L
For the watchers and doers alike, there’s gotta be a microlabel for everyone.
First of all, to get it out of the way, both of these are kinks that, when done non-consensually, are crimes. Most sexual/kink related activity is unethical when there is a lack of consent, of course, but these kinks straight up are the names of crimes by law. If you look up exhibitionism or voyeurism, the crimes come up before anything else. But that’s not what we’re discussing here! These kinks often fall under the “consensual non-consent” umbrella, wherein you agree ahead of time that these non-consensual activities will be happening.
VOYEURISM
Voyeurism is when someone gets aroused by watching someone else be naked or have sex/masturbate, often with an element of illicit-ness or of not being supposed to be able to see them. Voyeurism is often related to themes of control and distance- the arousal of not being the one present and yet being a part of it nonetheless.
EXHIBITIONISM
If voyeurism is being the observer, then exhibitionism is being the performer. Interestingly enough, when I was researching this one I came across a very poignant testimony from Reddit user u/Escapism3456543:
“Just a theory of mine, but I think if you live your daily life very much suppressing your own wants, maybe because of duties / situational necessity, and if on top of that you are shy and naturally fearful of repercussions for every little foot you might put wrong… If you are intimidated by authority, timid and a people-pleaser, like myself, it can easily lead to fantasies of utmost transgression. In moments of self-abandon I imagine I am seen, exposed, exhibiting myself, transgressing societal boundaries with nothing but pleasure, happiness and delight as people look on.”
HOW TO ENGAGE
Start by considering your sexual fantasies and how they might relate to participating in exhibitionism or voyeurism. Think about how safe and realistic they are. Discuss what you'd like to try with your partner if you want to act them out. Make sure you establish clear limits and come up with a safe word to use should things get out of control. Tell them exactly what you would like. Go slowly at first. You can play with consenting exhibitionist/voyeuristic fantasies in the privacy of your bedroom. Don't set your expectations too high and allow for trial and error. As a fun way to spend time together, try to unwind and explore. There are clubs where people voluntarily consent to seeing semipublic sex acts and nudity. Nudity is also permitted at some bath houses and beaches. Remember, nevertheless, that not all locations that permit consensual nudity are sexual. Never forget to respect other people's desires when you are exploring. Just remember- making sure you don't violate the law and that everyone has consented to the event is crucial.
Have fun and happy watching!