Burnout and Your Sex Life
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About burnout and sex…
Life gets busy and it’s easy to feel emotional burnout from expending physical and mental energy all day. We’ve all felt the apathy and exhaustion from working and life troubles. Some folks find sex and masturbation a great way to dispel stress, others (like me) find that they’re so tired there is no emotional room to feel anything but tired. If you are in a relationship, it may feel more strained because of this. We’re super sex positive here and encourage everyone to explore themselves, but it’s also important to talk about times when exploration means taking a break.
Say you do not want to engage in sexual activity. Maybe you’re really tired, maybe you are on the asexual spectrum, maybe you’re just not feeling it at the moment. That’s 100% okay! If that’s the boundary you are setting to feel comfortable, that is valid. It’s not okay for someone to pressure you to engage in something you do not want. Don’t pressure yourself either. You know yourself best, and if you don’t feel like masturbating or having sex, don’t do what you don’t want to.
Okay so, how do we get back into it though? Sex is good fun of course and desirable in some peoples’ lives. If we are in a sexual relationship, we might find ourselves not wanting to let the other down. In the case of burnout, we have to give ourselves time. Go into nature, eat nice meals, talk to some trusted people. Whatever re-energizes you! Talk with your sexual partner about how you’re feeling. Let them know that you’re burnt out and need to spend some time caring for yourself. If your relationship allows, invite them to spend some time just relaxing.
When you’re ready to jump back into your sex life, take it slow and get a feel. You’ll know when you’re good to go again. I’d spend some “me time” masturbating to gauge how I’m feeling before letting other parties know I’m back in town. Right now, I’m enjoying taking baths and catching up on shows; grabbing a bite with friends; and making small, approachable plans. I still got lots of work to do but also know I’m only human!
Peace and Love.