Getting Stuffed on Thanksgiving
- Posted on
- By L
Exactly what it sounds like- here’s a list of things to do and which foods to eat at Thanksgiving to optimize sexual health and energy.
It’s Thanksgiving weekend, which means huge meals, long weekends, and more rain than you planned for. All of which lead to more time at home- which means more time for gettin’ down. This can be difficult to balance with the hibernating bear need to eat huge copious amounts of food- but they can (and will) coexist. You might think “I know, I know, don’t eat too much turkey and don’t get sleepy.” But this is actually false! A common myth is that turkey makes you sleepy- but in reality, it doesn’t contain a high enough concentration of tryptophan to actually make a dent in your energy levels. What actually makes you sleepy at Thanksgiving is the higher than normal amount of dense foods you eat- which is why I never get sleepy at Thanksgiving, I’m doin that year round, babyyy. But if you want to maximize your sexual potential on Thanksgiving, there are a few things you can do.
FOCUS ON PROTEINS
We all love our mashed potatoes and stuffing, but if you’re looking for something that’ll keep you up (and keep you up), you might wanna lock in on those proteins- whether its turkey or ham or chicken, don’t be afraid to load that plate up with meat so that you can serve up some meat later.
DON’T RUSH
If you’re intending on consuming large amounts of food- and good on you if you are- but still want some agility and no bloating for a little fun time later, consider spacing your meal out over a longer period of time. No need to fit all that food into the same half-hour window- have a portion, relax, hang out, come back to it later, have another, repeat ad infinitum. This will give your body time to digest in between while still getting you that satisfyingly full holiday feeling.
FUCK BEFORE DINNER
Simple as. Just fuck before dinner. No need to worry about energy or bloating or anything of the like if you keep your sexual activity to before the huge meal drop. That way you can consume in Thanksgiving gluttony as much as you want, and have already gotten your rocks off. As someone who appreciates holiday gluttony, this is a great option.
Go forth with this knowledge and have a wonderful Canadian Thanksgiving (the better Thanksgiving, frankly). Enjoy the long weekend and enjoy any other long things you might encounter this weekend.