How (Not) To Give Yourself Any Kink
- Posted on
- By L
- Posted in Tips & Tricks
The Human brain is more flexible than we think- as such, it’s entirely possible to give yourself most kinks through behavioral conditioning.
Seems far-fetched? I don’t blame you for feeling that way. It does seem unlikely- ANY kink at all? But it’s true. So in a way, this blog post functions both as a how-to guide on developing a kink, and as a what-not-to-do guide for if there are any kinks you’re really trying to avoid. These are the steps to accidentally gain any kink- and if you know how to do it accidentally, then you’ll be able to do it on purpose.
DISCOVERY
This is when you first come across a kink. Let’s use, say, a foot fetish as our example. Whatever the circumstances might be, you learn that some people are into feet. Either it’s through someone telling you or mentioning they have a foot fetish, or you stumble across content centered around foot erotica, or some other method of discovering yet another part of our wide wide world.
IRONY
Here is where you joke about this kink. Whether it’s making fun of how gross it is, or how crazy it is, or how silly it looks, this is the inevitable stage when encountering something unfamiliar where you poke fun at it. Maybe someone is joking that you have this kink, or you’re joking that someone has it, and in any case you are interacting with the fetish in a joking, ironic manner. This is creating pathways in your brain for this kink.
RECOGNITION
This is where you begin to notice the less obvious appearances of the kink or fetish in your daily life and even see it in areas where it might not be there. From watching those thinly veiled 5 Minute Craft foot fetish videos where they take plaster casts of feet and use them as soap bars (as a joke, of course) to noticing when people have painted toenails and wondering if that makes their foot more valuable to a foot fetishist or not, this is the stage where now that you know about it, it’s showing up everywhere.
APATHY
This is the turning point, and it’ll usually come with masturbating to pornography. It can occur if a partner springs something on you as well, but that’s much less likely. No, more likely is that you’ll be masturbating to some form of porn, and suddenly an aspect of it is engaging with that fetish. Maybe part of the foreplay is that someone gets a footjob or maybe the feet become a focal point of a sensual massage or maybe someone’s sucking toes to show submission- either way, it’s an unexpected appearance of this kink in a situation where you are already aroused and engaging with, at the very least, yourself in a sexual context. And, because it sucks to kill the mood, you probably just continue to masturbate despite the addition of the fetish, since it’s not the entire thing, there’s still other porn going on, and it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?
TABOO
This is the stage where you begin worrying about developing the kink. You’re already seeing it everywhere, so you start thinking “oh shit, am I into feet?” which in turn just makes you think about it more. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, appearing all the more enticing simply because it’s taboo. This is the point where the cycle of trying to convince yourself you aren’t into it, and then how erotic it feels when you give into it (due to the feeling of not being supposed to be into it in the first place) starts to repeat itself, just cementing the kink in your mind.
ACCEPTANCE
And then you accept that you have a new kink. This isn’t something you should be upset about! Each new kink is a new way to have fun and experience pleasure. Instead of fighting back against it, giving in and accepting a new fun part of yourself is the best way forward, and will probably serve you well for the rest of your life.
Now before you freak out, if you’re looking to not develop any specific kinks or fetishes, just make sure that you bow out at the apathy stage, since it can be a slippery slope from there on out. If you really don’t want to develop a fetish for, say, piss, then as soon as you see elements of piss in pornography, consider switching to a different video/book/comic/etc. A simpler version of this blog post could be “jerk off to the kink you want to develop and don’t jerk off to any kinks you don’t want to develop”, but then I don’t get to sound like an evil mastermind, so that’s no fun.
Happy brain conditioning!