How to Choke Somebody (Without Choking Them)
- Posted on
- By L
Choking and breath play can seem sexy- how do we keep it in that realm without tipping into a dangerous one?
Sexual choking is where someone applies pressure to your neck that partially or completely restricts airflow or blood flow to your brain during sex. It can also be called breath play or erotic asphyxiation. People generally engage in sexual choking to increase endorphins (the body’s feel-good chemicals) and to intensify orgasm. Sexual choking might also be part of edge play (a buzz you get from doing risky things and surviving them), bondage and discipline (BDSM and power play), rough sex, or sometimes just because people are curious.
However, sexual choking is a high-risk sexual activity. There is, ultimately, no risk-free way to engage in sexual choking. Every time you choke someone, or you let someone choke you, you risk serious injury, brain injury and death. There can also be legal consequences, even if the activity was done with consent. People may argue whether there was consent or not, especially if they have suffered injury. Alongside the risk of criminal charges, there is also a risk of civil legal claims, particularly if the person being choked suffers long-term impacts like a brain injury. While there is no completely safe way to choke or be choked, some people who engage in sexual choking use harm reduction strategies to help reduce the risk.
If we think about different ways to sexually choke someone as sitting on a scale from highest risk to lowest risk, tying something around your own or someone else’s neck that can’t be instantly released; choking to the point where someone loses consciousness; choking or being choked under the influence of drugs or alcohol; and choking someone who is already recovering from a brain injury, or who has existing heart or breathing problems like asthma, might all sit in the highest risk category. Make sure you know the medical history of someone you’re intending to sexually choke.
Down at the safer end of the sexual choking risk scale are activities like holding your own breath (so you can let it go when it gets scary) and simulating choking (play acting) rather than actually restricting someone’s air or blood flow. This can include light pressure to the neck, lightly squeezing the sides of the neck rather than the front, or using a hand to hold the head in place via the neck. Simulation allows you to explore this sexual fantasy without as many risks to health and safety. Still, no matter the risk level, you should make a plan of action together before you try sexual choking, so you both know what to do if something goes wrong. If the person being choked stops breathing, loses consciousness, has a seizure, or seems confused, disorientated or agitated, you should call 911. Most sexual choking will stop short of producing any visible signs. If you do see any of the visible signs, you should strongly consider seeking medical attention as they may mean you have a more serious injury.
Each time you are choked, there is a period of time when the oxygen supply to your brain is cut off or reduced. Every time this happens there may be damage to brain cells, and this damage can build up over time, and lead to significant problems with your brain function. This is why we do not recommend that choking becomes part of your “daily” or regular sexual practice but instead is something that you only practice occasionally. We recommend that you wait at minimum 4 days between choking.
I know that’s a lot of very intenseinformation, but it’s necessary to know before you engage in risky play. There are many different levels of choking, a lot of which fall into that simulation category. Something like wearing a collar with a leash or with a ring to pull on, having your partner pull you closer via a necktie, having rope loosely around your neck as part of being tied up, or even being pulled via an unclasped belt. There’s a lot of fun ways to engage, just be sure to stay safe when you do!