How To Choose The Best Sex Music
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Here’s the thing… everybody has an opinion about what “sexy” music is. Instead of giving mine, let me teach you how to figure out what yours is.
Listening to music while having sex is great. It sets the mood, provides a little background noise, and if you choose correctly, can make the moment feel more erotic/emotionally intense. However, I’m sure you, like me, have looked up suggested songs to have sex to and have been completely cringed out by the suggestions that come up. That’s the issue- everyone finds something different sexy, so giving specific advice on a large scale about what YOU should be listening to in YOUR bedroom is completely ineffectual. Instead, let’s figure out what you’re going to enjoy listening to in the bedroom.
Let’s start simple- lyrics. Do you want to hear lyrics while you’re having sex or not? This is always a huge stopping point for me when I see a suggested sex playlist, because not only are all the songs full of lyrics, they’re also singing ABOUT having sex. That feels so weird for me (and just ends up making me laugh honestly) but it clearly is something that resonates with a lot of people. So, you need to figure out what works for you- do you want to hear somebody singing while you’re getting down to business? Contributing factors might include how loudly you intend to play the music, and how much of a verbal component your current sexcapade involves. If you’re engaging in a lot of verbal back-and-forth as part of your dynamic, a wordy song might not be the move, as it can get auditorily complicated. Maybe you don’t mind lyrics, but don’t want to understand the words- in this case consider curating a playlist full of songs that fit your vibe in languages you don’t speak. I have a friend who’s into pup play, and would only listen to music in languages she didn’t speak to get her into the doggy headspace of not understanding her owner’s words. You don’t need to be that committed to a role to enjoy music you don’t understand though.
Energy is important. Do you want to hear faster paced and more energetic music, or do you want something more ambient? With high-energy music, it will take more of a front seat in the experience, which can be good if it includes songs that both you and your partner find super sexy. On the other hand, if you want music that will provide more of a background texture and let you stay the main event, then going with something lighter and less intense might be the move. This is a decision that is also best made in curating a playlist vs listening to an album. If you’re looking for high energy music the whole time, I would suggest curating a playlist of these songs, as it’s easy to tip over into too intense that it becomes silly in terms of music when it comes to music in the bedroom. Up to you, but personally it’s a real mood killer when an overly intense song comes on and makes the energy in the room feel silly. If you want something slower or more ambient, I would for sure suggest picking an album/a few albums that you like the energy of and just letting them play through, as then the vibe is likely going to remain pretty consistent that way.
A pitfall people often fall into is adding songs they like too much. I remember there was once a time I was getting busy, and one of my favourite songs came on from the playlist and it took so much self-control to not just start jamming to it and singing along, which was super distracting and took me out of the moment. I’m all for a good vibe during sex (in more ways than one lol), but maybe don’t add your very favourite songs to a sex playlist. It’s like what they say about “watching a movie” at home with your date/partner- don’t put on too good a movie, otherwise you actually will just watch it through.
Tonally dissonant songs will also make it hard to focus- I have a friend who gets really into video game music, not like 8bit sounding stuff, like regular music that happens to be for a video game. They put on a playlist as background noise to masturbate to once, and a song from Night In The Woods came on, reminding them how good a game it was, and sure enough they stopped masturbating to go play the game instead. Similar things of this nature can happen with movie soundtracks, musical soundtracks, TikTok/meme music, and any other music that is already associated with an activity other than having sex.
Of course, at the end of the day, you can just make a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy, which is always fun. Remember some of the tips from this post when you do so- it might save you from an awkward situation in the future. Bear in mind when you do this that your partner is going to have different sex music preferences than you, and that you should figure out their preferences/answers to the questions in this post as well. Don’t be afraid to explore what music can do for you in the bedroom. There’s an endless list of songs for you to get nasty to- so go find them!