How to Long Distance Part 2
- Posted on
About my experience in a long distance relationship...
No one said long distance would be easy, and good grief, it has been tough. When I talk to my friends about my romantic + sexual relationship, they usually tell me "I could not imagine/manage/be in a committed sexual and/or romantic long distance relationship for 6 months." To be fair, a lot of them are single or in open relationships with good communication.
Honestly, it's been frustrating. I have been reflecting on my own feelings. I think I took a lot of in person things for granted. Being able to look into my partner's eyes, read his body language, react to his scent, etc. Part of me believes that these past 6 months have solidified my commitment and love towards my partner and another feels like I knew this before and wish he never left. But, this is also a time of growth for my partner. Being away from each other is a time for reflection on yourself.
We've made a lot of plans for when he comes back. This has given us things to look forward to. Lots of things to day dream about. That also brings in a lot of expectations. Are expectations bad? Not necessarily. It really depends on how you react to being let down. A lot of sleepy phone calls and someone falling asleep mid-conversation is a let down. I've been extremely upset some days, others I can move on with grace and understanding. When I remind myself that we are living separate lives and have our own schedules, I find myself being more grateful for the time we do get to spend.
Okay, so whatever right? Get on to the sex part? I'm getting there right now. Even with long distance toys, our sex life is under the ground. We are both shy, and the distance has made us more shy about our sex lives. He is worried about internet safety with video calls and I just feel weird being the only guy naked and fooling around. We are very excited to see each other again in person. The app controlled long distance toys we got for the actual long distance part weren't used that much. Again, shy. I won't be letting them go to waste. Date nights are gonna get spicier from now on.
So what? I'm just sharing my experience with long distance. It's going to be different for everyone. It's tough, it doesn't feel rewarding, I feel pent up, I miss going on dates. I'm going to be sure to make up for all the time lost. That's the main thing right? All the time we "lost." But I don't want to waste more time worrying about that. The main take away for me is to take care of myself first. If I can't take care of my own wellness how will I take care of someone half the world away from me?
Peace and love.
Thank you for reading.