Our Halloween Visitor!
- Posted on
About a Visitor on Halloween.
Last night was Halloween, even if you didn’t go out trick or treating, we’re hoping you got some snacks and scary movies in. We bought 1.4kg of assorted candy from the bulk aisle. Didn’t realize how much we actually got until it was poured into a bowl, oops.
Meanwhile at the Art of Loving we had a visitor from space. That’s not what it told me, but I’m not feeling inclined to believe that this little green guy came from Sweden. Maybe “ich-ee-yah” is its home planet though? We’re not folks to judge though so we gave it a tour of the shop regardless.
It wasn’t interested in our monster dildos or kink gear (I guess that’s all old tech for aliens) but did enjoy our Tenga collection. It told us they looked fun and unique, practical, and less in your face than the other penetrable masturbators that have the “human oysters” on them. It said they looked like “tasty optical gummy loomer.” It means squishy art pillars, perhaps? If our interpretation is correct, we must agree. As a Tenga owner, I use my Bobble as a fidget toy more than I’d like to admit. Don’t get me wrong, the internal texture is fantastic to use as intended. Totally different than using your hands. The squishy elastomer hugs the penis nicely and cleaning it is simplified with the drying rack that comes with, built into the case. I call mine “Steven the Sea Cucumber.”
We asked what alien genitalia looks like, but its explanation was beyond our comprehension. However, it still wanted to take some Tenga products home since there are smaller and larger masturbators for all sizes. Another win for human and alien interaction I guess, accessibility wins the day!
It walked out without buying lubricant for the masturbators. Water based is best, but it told me they have some really awesome “sliding fluid” back at home. That works too? If you want to visit us, we accept cash and card. No American Express or otherworldly glowing uranium nuggets please. We cannot process those. It parked in the back alley. That’s chill, we do have customer parking. For whatever vehicle you pilot. Or you can just take the 99 or Skytrain like the rest of us. In a bright green flash, its saucer ship was gone. Instant space time travel is cool too. Maybe it’s a Swedish thing.
Peace and love from planet Earth.
(Gleep glorp)