What is Sub Drop?
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Have you or a partner ever felt kind of down after an intense session? That’s perfectly normal! Here’s why it happens and how to mitigate it.
"Sub drop," short for submissive drop, is a temporary period of exhaustion, emotional depression, or physical discomfort that can occur in a BDSM context after an intense kink scene. It is a natural physiological response to the hormonal shifts—such as a drop in adrenaline and endorphins—that occur as the body returns to normal after being in a heightened state during play. Effects can include deep exhaustion, irritability, depression, and a feeling of detachment. So, what happens physiologically during sub drop?
Hormonal shifts
During intense kink play, the body floods with hormones like adrenaline and endorphins.
Rebalancing
After the scene ends, the body needs to return to its normal state (homeostasis), which involves stopping the production of these endorphins and allowing the parasympathetic nervous system to take over.
Withdrawal-like effects
This sudden shift can feel like a withdrawal, leading to negative emotional and physical side effects.
Common symptoms of sub drop:
-Deep exhaustion or fatigue
-Depression or sadness
-Irritability
-Incoherence or un-coordination
-Feelings of detachment or being out of body
-A sharp drop in body temperature
Basically, your brain is flooded with nice chemicals and happy drugs, and the drop is the after effects that happen after play. It really is a ‘rebalancing’ of your brain chemicals. You can get depressed, obsessed, and start needing a lot of reassurance. People have described it as a “BDSM Hangover”. It can happen anywhere from right after, to 1–2 days after a play session- that mostly depends on what you are doing and the environment you’re in, and if you’re getting your post-coital needs met. Speaking of which, here’s how to manage sub drop:
Aftercare
Exactly what it sounds like. The main element to treating and mitigating the severity of sub drop is to provide comfort and care to the submissive. This often looks like cuddling, praising, rehydrating with water or Gatorade, gentle cleanup, and snacks/a meal. Additional ways to provide aftercare are scented baths, chocolate or other treats, watching comfort media (together or just them if they needs some alone time), get them some sunshine, and facilitate a comfortable sleep. Don’t neglect your own needs in this- even if you aren’t the submissive, or if you aren’t experiencing sub drop, don’t let your own aftercare needs fall by the wayside in favour of someone else’s.
Patience
This is technically included in aftercare, but I wanted to put it in its own bullet point to really highlight its importance. If someone experiencing sub drop doesn’t recover quickly wen being provided aftercare, it doesn’t mean that any permanent damage has been done, nor is it a failing on the part of the person giving them aftercare. It doesn’t mean you should never engage in BDSM ever again- everything takes time, including recovery and rebalancing. Patience, love, and kindness is instrumental to a swift and easy recovery.
So there you have it! Go forth on your kinky exploits knowing that this is something you should look out and prepare for. It’s not bad, unusual, or any sort of failing on the part of either partner. It’s perfectly normal, and is often solved by doing things together that you would have enjoyed doing together anyway. So have fun, play safe, and don’t forget to take care of each other!