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Newest AMAZING Toys from Lelo

If you're shopping for a premium toy for yourself or a special woman, you must see the latest from Lelo. Ina Wave and Mona Wave. They elicited oohs and aahs from the women shopping last night after our seminar. Just when I think most everything adult has been invented, Lelo takes pleasure up a notch.

They both can just vibrate, vibrate AND caress or just caress. Super soft silicone, waterproof, and rechargeable. Amazing. Check them out here.

 

Just a reminder...

A week ago, I got a call from a panicked person about something pretty serious.

Turns out that the person put a vibrating bullet in their butt and it pretty much swallowed it up. I didn't really know what to do since I was over the phone so I gave some advice like GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

So this is just a friendly reminder from your neighbourhood sex toy employee to let you know that if you want to put something in your butt, MAKE SURE IT HAS A FLARED BASE.

Save yourself that embarassing trip to the hospital.

Make some noise!!

Dear guys,

Please please PLEASEEEE make some noise. Not only is it hot as hell to hear you enjoying the sex we're having, it gives me a good gauge on what I should and shouldn't do. I don't get turned on by porn anymore but listening to soundclips where the guy is moaning and growling gets me super excited!

And don't give me that whole "BUT WE WERE TAUGHT TO MASTURBATE SILENTLY" stuff as well because SURPRISE, girls have to as well!

So please. Do this for us. (To a certain point because you don't want the neighbours to call the police on you for noise violations)

Sincerely,

Amy.

Porn for Pussies

I got 'married' to a boy named Jamie when I was in grade 3 and we stayed 'married' until grade 5 when he left me for Wanda. Those two years were very sexy ones, in spite of us just holding hands once in awhile and kissing only after being wrestled to the ground during kissing tag. I think Wanda went further than kissing, so won his little penis and heart when I was away in Disneyland. Bitch.

It's so fun to remember those 'good old days'. At the How to Have a Great Orgasm seminar last night, all these early sexual and sensual memories came back. How my first sexy dream was always about being inside a machine that was inhabited by a vampire. A conveyor belt and a vampire.

Does size really matter?

Maybe I'm spoiled. Most of my partners have average sized dongs and I'm not complaining. However, after a conversation with a friend, she said she prefered really big dicks. That kinda frightens me a bit because the last time I had sex with a bigger than average guy, his penis kept hitting my cervix and left me feeling like I got gut punched although that might also be because I wasn't quite appropriately aroused.

I think the size of dick doesn't really matter as long as they're good lovers (ex. makes noises, are open to improving, and willing to experiment)

Here's a series of stories from ladies who have experienced micropenises!

Love Language

For those who don't know, the love language is how you want to be shown love or appreciation. They are considered:

Gifts: If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous.

Book Review: The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

I’m a nerd. I’ll be the first to admit that and proudly accept the fact that, yes, I can name Robins from Batman in order and why Wonder Woman is the best super heroine in the DC comics universe. So when I was assigned The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica, edited by Rose Caraway and published by Cleis Press, I was a bit curious to see how it could satisfy that nerd inside me.

I was already pretty happy with a small quote by Neil Gaiman.

“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.” No wonder librarians are usually the most common sexual fantasy.

A fun game I found on reddit! Definitely something I'm gonna try!

"Recently I came up with a game which me and my partner love. I think this game is really versatile as you can change the rules however you want to make it more or less extreme, depending on your relationship. It is also suitable for gay couples. So I introduce to you a modified version of kings cup (or ring of fire):

Kings Cock

Rules:

-No touching when the game does not allow it.

-You must both start with the same amount of clothes, which must be more than 2 but less than 12.

-If you have no more clothes to take off and the card requires you to, you must pick again.

-No skipping or cheating on a card.

Instructions

Halloween and its costumes

Hallow's Eve is close and I can feel it in the air. Pumpkins, candy, scary spooky stuff and costumes! So basically, my type of holiday. However, I feel with the advent of this glorious holiday, I have to reiterate that Halloween is not an excuse to dress in racist/transphobic costumes.

Not only are you encouraging the blatant racism of cultures and making fun of how a person looks, it's tacky as hell. Even if it's done with the most innocent of intentions, your costume can still perpetuate harmful stereotypes and stigmas, which can invite in more aggressive racist attitudes. Note how most racist costumes are in the catergories of "Funny" or "Sexy". The question I want to ask is "What about these groups of people makes them exotic or humourous?"

Bacon and Dolls

I was waiting for it. I know some of you were too.

Bacon flavoured lube. While we won't be selling it in-store, I can certainly custom order some if you want your lover's lickable bits to have the aroma of crispy pig. It's kosher, so anyone can dig in. "HEAAR piggy piggy!"

While that appeals to the baconified masses, THIS item is one fine piece of problem solving for those of you who get your teeth caught when your mouth is wrapped around real meat.

Blow-up doll look-a-like, face exerciser, blow job helper...Take your pick, it's a winner on all fronts:

 

Public Sex!

I admit. I am a huge fan of public sex. The fact that you can get caught by anyone and the spontaneity of the act is such a thrill for me. I would say I'm pretty experienced in that field (I've only been caught by a security guard once and I've been having sex in public since I was 15 and I'm 24 now), so here are some tips from a fellow voyeur!

Penis Festival!

Japan actually has a local Shinto festival in Kawasaki, that celebrates the penis in it's full glory!

It's called Kanamara Matsuri ("Festival of the Steel Penis") and it's held annually every first Sunday of April. The festival used to be held for sex-workers who wished to protected from STDs and easy delivery, marriage, and harmony in a marriage.

There is also a legend of a sharp-toothed demon that hid inside the vagina of a young woman and castrated her two fiances on their wedding nights. As a result, the young woman sought help from a blacksmith, who fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth, which led to the enshrinement of the item and the name of the festival.

Now for Something Ugly

I don't know how truly common abusive relationships are as I don't think the more temperate kinds of abuse like 'mere' mental abuse are reported.

Below is a book written by Lundy Bancroft who's worked with thousands of men with oppressive belief systems and more pertinently, consults with their partners on the abusers' actual progress. A lot of these guys easily charm a therapist into thinking they're growing and evolving.

Cisgender, anyone?

I love how powerful words are. Here's a word of the day you may not have in your caring and sharing, people loving vocabulary yet: Cisgender. What the heck is THAT?

Copied from the basicrights.org website:

"You may have heard the word cisgender before, but you may not know what it means. Cisgender is a term used to describe people who, for the most part, identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. For example, if a doctor said “it’s a boy!” when you were born, and you identify as a man, then you could be described as cisgender. In other words, ‘cisgender’ is used to describe people who are not transgender.

Looking to get rid of old sex toys?

Are you like me where you have too many toys that you only used once or never at all and it's piling up in your closet/nightstand/etc or you have a broken toy and looking to get rid of it?

Well don't fret! Rabbit Amnesty will take care of that for you! Added bonus: When you recycle your toys, they give you points for more toys! Who can deny the sweet lure of more things?

Unfortunately, it is USA/Euro/AU based only so boo for us Canadians :(

Still! It's a lot better than throwing a vibrator out in the trash only to have the bag rip and a bunch of phallic shaped objects spill out on the sidewalk!

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