9 LGBTQ+ Sex Ed Facts All Queer Teens Should Know
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Sex education in the U.S. and Canada is rarely LGBTQ+-inclusive. These sex educators want queer youth to be prepared.
LGBTQ+ sex ed across much of the U.S. and Canada has always been lackluster, even before the introduction of “Don’t Say Gay” laws across the country this year.
For many teens, high school sex education in general takes an abstinence-only approach, encouraging students to refrain from premarital sex and often employing fear-based tactics that emphasize pregnancy and STIs. In fact, less than half of the states that do mandate sex education require the curriculum to be medically accurate, according to Planned Parenthood, and only a fifth of middle schoolers are being taught sex ed topics considered “essential” by the CDC.
Even schools that don’t take an abstinence-only approach often forego queer and trans topics from their curriculum, leaving LGBTQ+ teens in the dark. According to SIECUS: Sex Ed for Social Change, a sex education advocacy organization, only 11 states required LGBTQ+ people to be included in school sex ed curriculums in 2020. That number could shrink as more states consider bills limiting queer and trans expression in schools.
Studies show that LGBTQ+ teens are especially vulnerable to dating violence, STIs, and teen pregnancy when they cannot access comprehensive sex ed. They are also more likely to seek out information from unverified sources.
Everyone deserves access to comprehensive sex education, and nobody deserves to go through life not knowing the basics of their bodies, sexual health, and identity. That's why Them asked experts to tell us the LGBTQ+ sex facts they think all queer teens should know, from the importance of masturbation to understanding consent. Read on for a list of nine LGBTQ+ sex ed facts for teens.
1. Masturbating can be the first step to understanding what makes your body feel good
Understanding sex often begins by understanding what makes your own body feel good. Often, this takes place way before you add another person to the equation. Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of the gay men’s sexual health practice Bespoke Surgical, tells Them that masturbation can be an important tool for figuring out what you like and what you don’t, all without the added pressure of having another person in the room.
“When you take the time to do it by yourself, you don’t have to worry about performing or satisfying your partner,” Goldstein says.
2. Experiment with what you like by using sex toys (but make sure to clean them!)
Another way to explore what you like before having sex with another person is by using sex toys. These aren’t accessible to all teens learning about their bodies. However, more sex-positive parents are actively discussing the benefits of buying sex toys for their teens when they get curious about sex. In fact, former Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders endorsed masturbation and sex toys as a means of reducing teen pregnancy as early as 1991.
If you have access to a sex toy, it’s important to make sure to clean it after every use to prevent the likelihood of UTIs and other infections.
“Toys often have little grooves and crevices that can trap bodily fluids and bacteria,” Danielle Kramer, a clinical sexologist specializing in queer relationships, tells Them. “Even if you use a barrier method of protection, like condoms, you should still wash them.”
3. Porn doesn’t always reflect real life and should not be used as your sole form of sexual education
For many people, pornography is their first introduction to sex. While watching and reading porn can be a great tool for masturbation, it’s important to keep in mind that much of it does not reflect how people have sex in real life. Porn performers are often part of a scene and are acting out roles based on boundaries that were set off camera.
“When LGBTQ+ youth (and all youth) don’t have easy access to credible sex education that covers all topics, not just vaginal intercourse, they resort to porn, Google and Reddit, or influencers on TikTok who lack the medical credentials to be giving accurate advice on this topic,” says Dr. Goldstein. “While it can certainly help you discover what’s out there, it’s not the best for teaching you how to have sex or to have realistic body expectations. What you don’t see off camera is all the prep work that’s involved (like dilation and lubrication), the fact that not all penises are bigger than your forearm, and that there are different power dynamics involved in sex.”
If you want to learn about sex, consent, and how to set boundaries, you should look to resource sites like Sex, etc., Amaze, and The Trevor Project instead of turning to porn first.
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