An Asexuals Ruminations and Other Ideas
- Posted on
The thoughts and perspectives of an asexual.
Hello again. It's the Peace and Love guy writing again. To whoever actually reads these. Thanks? I suppose? I don't really benefit from you reading these but it's still appreciated. This morning I had a "proper" English breakfast. It was actually very American but I had those beans in tomato sauce in a can so it made it more British. Me thinks. Back to work now. Usually I write about whatever sex related thing I want or whatever the Big Boss wants. Today we'll just be talking about my experience as an asexual. Sexual wellness adjacent things yeah?
The people that surround me now are pretty good with my asexuality. No one gets confused. People just go "cool," and move on with their lives; that's all I could ever ask for. It's great. Flashback to the past where everyone was confused and in-turn, I was confused. My friends made my ideas of sex seem like some life changing world destroying thing. To me it was-and always will be-just how it is. The sky is blue, you should hydrate, 1 + 1 = 2, I am ace. But the doubt of my peers made me second guess this. I masturbate, I have hookups, I've have sex during romantic relationships. Oh dear, maybe my friends were right, maybe I just need to "find the right person." Blasphemy I say now! Hearsay! Young me, people are allowed to change overtime. You are allowed to grow. You are still you in the end.
It took a long ass time for me to figure all this out. What should have been a simple fact (in my opinion) turned into an identity crisis. When I say identity crisis, I really just mean I sat on the floor and thought about it for a bit.
I've never liked sex in a romantic context.
I like having sex, it's fun.
I masturbate, it's fun.
Ok so I enjoy sex stuff because it's fun.
I don't like having romantic feelings during sex.
Really it's as simple as that. It's not that big of a deal. You like having sex romantically, I don't. The end. That's my crisis summed up. That's also how I explain to people that ask me what my deal is. Again, the people I'm around really don't care (in a good, boundary respecting way). I don't mind people asking about my asexuality as long as they're respectful and genuinely curious. If I get one more "you haven't found the right person" someone is gonna get a Loony Tunes walloping, anvil from the sky.
There's a lot to discuss so I'll probably write a part two in the distant future. No promises though.
Oh yeah. Stuff you can buy from the Art Of Loving store. Yes. Here are some of my personal favourites that I always recommend to people. For sex and masturbation. Yes. I enjoy protection and not getting sexually transmitted diseases so I always recommend condoms. I really don't care where you get them, as long as you are being safe. If you want to support local, come to the store or order them online here. I also think lube is pretty cool. Again, support us here. Linking water-based lube as it's more universal. I think that's good for today. Thank you for your support. Yes.
Stay curious, be open minded, drink water!
Peace and Love.