RE-WRITING THE RULES - SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE TODAY
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There are tons of unwritten rules about sex that we never bother to think about. Google image search “sex” and you’ll see that the images are almost all the same; one man and one woman, usually white, having penetrative sex in the missionary position.
They are both young and conventionally attractive; either porn stars, or portrayed as in love, romantic and (probably) monogamous. They are in bed; mo toys or accessories clutter the space and the sex will ‘end’ when the man comes. Sound familiar?
We so often take for granted that sex should look, feel and function a certain way, with only a small amount of wiggle room for deviance. But WHY? Says WHO? And what kind of fun are we missing out on by failing to re-examine these assumptions? In this series, we will explore the unwritten rules that govern our sex lives, and look for fun, creative ways to unleash a new world of sexual potential through bending and breaking them.
Today we will be looking at the rule that states…
- · Sex Should Always Be Spontaneous
How many times have you heard people joking about long term couples who schedule sex? “Come here hunny, it’s Tuesday night! We both know what Tuesday night means…” Such a scenario is met with harsh scorn; the ultimate example of a couple who has failed to maintain the ‘spice’ and ‘spark’ in their sex lives'. Planned sex is mundane, compulsory, and (god-forbid), boring. But why do we understand planned sex as something always inherently unsexy? And is there an alternative to this assumption?
Research shows that people who are about to go on vacation actually derive more pleasure from the planning and anticipation of going away than the vacation itself. Deciding on the spur of the moment to jump on a plane or a train and have an adventure is definitely fun! But so is the delicious pleasure of anticipation, of researching a new land, mulling over all the fun you can and will have once you get there, looking forward to leaving the every day behind even if just for a short time…this is it’s own type of unique pleasure. It fills our everyday lives with the joy and excitement of what’s next.