How Fifty Shades of Grey Ruined BDSM
- Posted on
Forewarning, I've never read the series nor do I wish to
Today's topic of choice is BDSM and the 50 Shades series. I've surrounded myself with people that have similar interests/are fairly respectful of whatever weird stuff I do. I'm into BDSM and have interactions that go like this:
"Oh you're into BDSM? Like, Fifty Shades of Grey? Errmmm. Hmmmm. Uhhhhhh. *more displeased noises here.*"
I am aware of the reputation Fifty Shades series; never knew the specific details though. I was chatting with my room-mate about the well-known Fifty Shades of Grey series. They are pretty plain, vanilla; I say this with love, in my plump love filled heart. I have never read the books but have a vague understanding about the contents. They've read it and gave me the run down. To be frank, I was horrified about what I heard. Ignoring safe-words, very dubious consent, getting the main character drunk to have sex with her, stalking. Ew, this is sounding less like BDSM and more like capital A abuse. Probably because it is.
Our little chat gave me a better idea of why some people find BDSM to be weird, and connect it to being "mentally ill." The series makes BDSM seem very toxic and abusive. In reality, BDSM is all about trust and consent. That's the core that makes the community. Without trust and consent, relationships just don't work. This applies for every relationship. It's suppose to be fun for everyone involved. I'm not here to say that everyone's dom-sub relationships are perfect. Again, as in any relationship, there is abuse. All I'm saying is that consent and boundaries power the community. It's all about trusting someone to stop when you ask, and for them to respect that. I'm pretty tired today so I'm having a hard time articulating what exactly I'm trying to say; hopefully you're getting the gist of it though. If you're really interested go seek out information not from me.
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Consent is king.
Peace and love.