Should I buy a sex toy for my teen?
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Buying a sex toy for your teen can sound like a sex positive, shame-free move, but like anything else in parenting, there are several things to consider before taking action.
First, what talks with your teen have you fostered around sex and pleasure leading up to this? If not many, then that’s truly where your focus should be. Establishing an open dialogue with your child about sexual health topics best ensures that their curiosities will come your way as they develop, without internalizing shame. Helping them to make informed choices for themselves, versus trying to control their outcomes, is a key goal in being a sex positive parent.
And when you establish open talks, you’d know whether sex toys are something your teen is even thinking about or interested in. You’d listen to what they know (or think they know) already about them, and identify areas you can supplement their existing understanding. When you acknowledge that sex toys are an option for consenting people, of all genders and sexual orientations, seeking pleasure during solo or partnered sex, it can take the taboo and secrecy out of the topic. Sex toys can be a part of exploring one’s body and pleasure, and it’s important to be open with them about ways exploration can happen without the use of toys as well.
It’s also important to consider your own “why,” particularly if your young person has not expressed an interest in sex toys. If your motivation is rooted in your own early experiences, whether sexually repressed or sex positive, remember that the child you are raising is on their own sexual health journey. Being careful to balance your fears, biases and expectations is key to supporting their unique path. Buying a sex toy for your teen is not the measure of a “cool” or “progressive” parent- maintaining open door communication is.
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